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It's really the confinement that depresses me. I've escaped now but I haven't really escaped at all." For no real reason, tears sprang to my eyes and I started quietly sobbing."Come back inside Henry and talk to me about it." Mrna placed a hand gently on my shoulder and guided me through the vines and back to her room. B'nack followed. Bravely trying to stifle my tears, I sat alongside her and accepted the cup of wine she offered. It soothed me and took away some of my inhibitions. B'nack sat opposite us but kept quiet. "You're not happy here," Mrna stated in a low voice, "I've noticed that for some time. Do you wish to return to your real family?" No, I have no real family other than J'cob's," I stated clearly, "But..." Through tears and sobs I tried to explain my loneliness and my feeling of imprisonment without seeming ungrateful for all care and love the elves had shown me. Part way through I saw L'ncze appear in the room but B'nack ushered her out and I continued to unburden. It appeared as a faint glimmer that got dimmer and dimmer as the trial continued. That feeling vanished when I realized that everything I have ever loved has now turned against me. I thought I was past that. I thought I had resigned myself to my fate. Only now do I understand that I was not as willing to give everything up as I had thought. Only Teddy supports me. He alone is willing to stand up for me in memory of all that we have been. His characteristic lack of expression, never questioning, always accepting, no matter what horrible thing I have done. Teddy remembers how it was before, how we were before. He doesn’t forget. He is a testament of what once was in his patched, candy-cane striped pajamas. He is the only one willing to go against all others to defend me. If any of them is capable of doing just that, he is. He has known me the longest and the best. Who better to stand with me to face the consequences of my actions? He is evidence in himself of my caring and unending.
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